PLEASE REMEMBER YOU ARE A GUEST IN OUR HOME. A B&B IS NOT A HOTEL/MOTEL. THERE ARE RULES BECAUSE THERE ARE GUESTS
COMING IN WHEN YOU LEAVE AND WE NEED OUR ROOMS AND HOME TO BE CLEAN.
You are responsible for any damages caused by you.
No parties or drinking until you’re sick.
Please remove shoes and leave at the front door.
There is a $20.00 charge for dogs.
Pets must not shed, be vaccinated, and have no fleas.
You must clean up after your pet.
Please do not clean up spills using towels or bed linens.
Use toilet paper. Do not use towels to wipe your bottoms.
Do not use towels if you have grease or oil on your hands. Please wash your hands in the kitchen, and dry with paper towels.
Do not remove towels from the bathroom and take to your room.
Gentlemen, you stand at a urinal and sit on a toilet. There are no urinals here, please sit.
We will charge $40.00 for any towels you ruin. Yes, that is what towel sets cost!
Ladies, do not use facecloths to clean off makeup. Please use the makeup remover towelettes, and/or your hands and soap and water.
No food or drinks in your bedroom, other than water.
Please do not lie on or sleep on top of the duvet or pillow shams.
Ladies, please remove makeup before bedtime.
Do not get into bed, or sit on the down filled chaise wet from the shower – Please dry off first.
Please do not open windows. It interferes with the air conditioning/heating system. Use the fan in your room.
Smoking is permitted outside only. If smoking on the deck, please close the door so smoke doesn't come into the house, and use the ashtrays provided.
No hair dying is permitted.
Your clodhoppers track in dirt, yes, but also fecal germs and diarrhea-inducing bacteria, studies show, and the shoes themselves can get dirtier than a toilet seat. And science has shown just what makes up that filth, too.
Even Charles Gerba, a University of Arizona microbiologist who conducted a seminal study on the subject, was surprised. "I'm starting to make myself paranoid," Gerba told the Baltimore Sun when his study debuted in 2008. "It seems like we step in a lot more poop than I thought."
For the study, 10 people wore brand-new shoes for two weeks before their kicks were sampled for bacteria. The outside of the shoes averaged 421,000 units of bacteria, compared with 2,887 on the inside. And fecal bacteria appeared on 96% of the shoes.
That fecal bacteria "indicates frequent contact with fecal material, which most likely originates from floors in public restrooms or contact with animal fecal material outdoors," Gerba said for the study.
And here's the, ahem, kicker: The transfer rate bacteria from shoes to clean tiles was 90% to 99%.
Bacteria found on the footwear included E. coli, a source of urinary tract infections and diarrhea, as well as other bacteria causing pneumonia (Klebsiella pneumonia) and respiratory tract infections (Serratia ficaria).
Inside the house: Sponges left in sinks become fecal germ bombs
The study was released by CIRI, a nonprofit cleaning industry group, in collaboration the shoe company Rockport. It wasn't peer-reviewed, but it lines up with Gerba's renown published work on the filthiness of iPhones, water bottles and other everyday items as well as with a peer-reviewed University of Houston study in 2014.
In that study's analysis of 30 homes, Clostridium difficile — a bacterial cause of fever and diarrhea — was found more commonly on shoe bottoms than bathroom surfaces and toilet seats. That research appeared in the journal Anaerobe.
To be clear: Our world is basically awash in fecal matter, and whether you stop wearing shoes indoors may come down to your own personal standards for cleanliness.
Or, as The New Yorker reported on former "Saturday Night Live" star Tracy Morgan, you could just get "a machine next to the huge front door which Saran-Wraps the bottoms of your shoes, so that you don’t track dirt onto the shiny white tiled floors." Follow Josh Hafner on Twitter: @joshhafner